Why do we let people treat us badly?
Why do we allow the cycle of co-dependency and ill-treatment to continue? Again, it's because we don't feel worthy. Once we take a moment to reflect on the areas of out life—the people, situations, and circumstances that we're in at present, we can begin to think about how and why we got here.
Our insecurities and our fears eat away at who we are and keep us from breaking free of toxic and hateful partnerships. If you keep running back to the same person, it's often because you feel so bad about yourself that you come to believe that's the best you can do.
We feel they love us even though they treat us badly. This contradiction is known as cognitive dissonance, where we believe two contradictory thoughts at the same time. As a result of the contradiction we can become more extreme in our thoughts and behaviours as we wrestle with the disconnect.
"Why do I and everyone I love pick people who treat us like we're nothing?" - Sam in The Perks of Being a Wallflower, in theatres now. 71,589 people like this.
As possible, protect yourself from people who wrong you; shrink the relationship to the size that is safe. Get support; it's important for others to “bear witness” when you've been mistreated. Build up your resources. Get good advice – from a friend, therapist, lawyer, or even the police.
They turn the story around to make it seem like you are at fault, deflecting attention and blame away from them to make you feel guilty. This type of emotional manipulation is called gaslighting.
- Acknowledge the truth of the situation. ...
- Identify relationship needs — and deal breakers. ...
- Accept what the love meant to you. ...
- Look to the future. ...
- Prioritize other relationships. ...
- Spend time on yourself. ...
- Give yourself space. ...
- Understand it may take some time.
- Focus On Your Friends And Family. ...
- Accept What You Feel. ...
- Get Advice Specific To Your Situation. ...
- Return To The Present. ...
- Give Yourself The Respect That You Deserve. ...
- Find A Healthy Outlet To Express Yourself. ...
- Put Yourself First. ...
- Learn From Your Experience.
You feel like you're being manipulated into something you don't want to do. You're constantly confused by the person's behavior. You feel like you deserve an apology that never comes. You always have to defend yourself to this person.
Trauma Bonding is when we are attracted to someone because they remind us of our past traumas. A good example of this would be if you have an ex who broke your heart, you might be attracted to people who remind you of that person.
What is toxic affection?
Toxic affection is so named because it harms recipients by taking advantage of their need for inclusion without actually offering inclusion. When exposed, it erodes trust in the provider and confidence in the relationship.
- Think of yourself as an inkblot. ...
- Consider all the things you don't know. ...
- Pinpoint your biases. ...
- Remember the difference between negative and neutral. ...
- Tell yourself the odds are crushingly against you.
- #1 – Don't justify their behaviors. ...
- #2 – Don't lose yourself. ...
- #3 – Don't overcompensate. ...
- #4 – Don't stay for the wrong reasons. ...
- #5 – Don't stick around. ...
- If you need to stand up to someone who doesn't value you, do so soon!
They may take you for granted because they think you will always be there for them, or they may simply not care. It can be frustrating and infuriating when you feel like you're always the one giving and never receiving. It's important to remember that you deserve respect just as much as anyone else.
The golden rule states: “don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you.” Every person deserves to be treated with respect, honor, and dignity. It is vitally important to treat others as we want others to treat us.
There are a variety of causes for this type of behavior. Many factors make people put others down. Psychology says trauma from childhood, low self-esteem, and insecurity are a few major causes. If you want to understand relationships with people who put others down, psychology can help explain the complexity to you.
The Golden Rule is the principle of treating others as you want to be treated. It is a maxim that is found in many religions and cultures. [1] It can be considered an ethic of reciprocity in some religions, although other religions treat it differently.